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Post by sparksfly713 on Dec 10, 2017 12:26:05 GMT -5
why is it that every single happy love song comes on when I just want to be sad? I don't need this right now For what it's worth, having been in a few long distance relationships, I'm going to be honest. It sucks. It almost always sucks. Even when it's good it sucks. There isn't any way around that fact. Plain and simple, it just sucks. You'll never really be "together". You can be in love, you can be completely committed. But the fact that you're not there with them and they're not there with you won't go away until one of you, or both, move away from where you are and what you have to be closer. IF you can deal with all that and IF you think you can make it work, you're most likely wrong. Even a 100% certainty that it'll work isn't a 100% guarantee that it'll work. Yes it's possible to make it work, but it is so unbelievably difficult that you'll find yourself wondering if it's worth it at all. You both need to give as much as you can to make long distance work. As for the happy love songs, they're going to play to remind you that happiness is still a very real possible outcome even if you honestly feel there's no hope at all. There is and will always be some degree of hope. The possibility of love is never hopeless unless you choose for it to be. It's fine to be sad for a little while, but don't ever stay there too long. If all you're looking at is the bad, that's all you'll ever see over all the good and the positivity that's out there. Never give up. Don't get me wrong. I completely and 100% respect that he doesn't want to do long distance and I would never ever try to push for something he isn't comfortable with. I know why he doesn't want to do long distance and I respect that completely. We both have something from the past stopping us from taking that step forward. it really sucks because he's the first person I've been able to see a future with in a long time and it really sucks knowing that if I still lived in that town, this wouldn't be a question. He flat out told me last night that if I still lived there, he wouldn't hesitate to take that step. I'm two hours away, which is still far but not far enough that we couldn't see each other on the weekends if we made the effort. Long distance CAN work, if both people are honest with each other and committed to making it work. I've seen Rachel make it work for 3 years now and they're still going strong. I'm not mad at him though. I completely understand why he doesn't want to do long distance and I respect that. Maybe things will be different when we come back to that conversation. I don't know. Maybe we'll end up just being friends which will suck but there's not much we can do about that one. I don't like the uncertainty or that this is exactly what I was afraid of happening. but that's life |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2017 12:32:42 GMT -5
2 hours isn't even that far. You both drive for an hour and meet up with each other on weekends. It's not like you need to see each other every day especially not in the beginning of a relationship.
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Post by JDMaleSwiftie on Dec 10, 2017 12:36:12 GMT -5
2 hours isn't even that far. You both drive for an hour and meet up with each other on weekends. It's not like you need to see each other every day especially not in the beginning of a relationship. Depends what your schedule is like. Still having to drive an hour I mean even on the weekend if you’re in school, working, or both is a lot so for some people it might be best to date someone locally. |
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Post by taytaytay on Dec 10, 2017 12:42:10 GMT -5
2 hours away is enough for it to have a real toll on the relationship though. My ex lived just over an hour away (if you got the fast train, it could even be 30 minutes) but because there was that travel time needed it meant that it was harder to fit in seeing each other around uni for me and work for him-you can't just pop round for an hour after uni to see each other, or meet up in your free time between classes or whatever because there's that travel needed. We made it work for a while by spending several days together a week so like he would come and stay with me for 2-3 days if it was mid-week and I had uni or I would go and stay at his for a weekend if that was when he happened to be off work. It became less than ideal as time went on though and not being able to see each other super frequently wasn't good for us. I don't doubt that some people could make long distance work, but for some people their personal needs (aka I really need attention 24/7) just aren't suited to long distance.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2017 13:11:25 GMT -5
No offense but if someone can't come see you within a 30ish distance and doesn't wanna make that time for you that is completely nuts. XD when I think long distance I think like 4-5 hours away tbh.
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Post by taytaytay on Dec 10, 2017 13:45:33 GMT -5
No offense but if someone can't come see you within a 30ish distance and doesn't wanna make that time for you that is completely nuts. XD when I think long distance I think like 4-5 hours away tbh. It's practicality a lot of the time though. It's a lot easier to date someone where naturally you're going to be in the same place so you can easily slot in times to see them than it is to have to dedicate an hour of your day travelling to theirs and back if you're busy with a job and a social life and anything else. |
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Post by taytaytay on Dec 10, 2017 13:54:03 GMT -5
I mean a lot of it probably has to do with your love language too. My two high scoring love languages are quality time and physical touch so those are things I put a big priority on when it comes to friendships and relationships. If your love language is receiving gifts or words of affirmation, I could see it being a lot easier for you to make a long distance relationship work.
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Post by ketsiyahkeren on Dec 10, 2017 15:25:52 GMT -5
I think it all depends on the people in the long distance relationship. Love can be scary and hard and both party's have to be on the same page for it to work.
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Post by sparksfly713 on Dec 10, 2017 17:16:07 GMT -5
it's not really about the 2 hours. It's the fact that there it would be long distance.
Anyway, sometimes 2 hour car rides are really great for thinking about things (and for once maybe not overthinking it?) and I think I know how I'm going to approach round 2 of the conversation whenever we have it. Part of me really didn't like this processing time because it meant I would overthink it and probably run away because that's what I do when things get somewhat complicated but if he's willing to try it, then I'm all in. if not, well I understand it and I don't blame him for it at all but I'll deal with it
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2017 17:58:07 GMT -5
it's not really about the 2 hours. It's the fact that there it would be long distance. Anyway, sometimes 2 hour car rides are really great for thinking about things (and for once maybe not overthinking it?) and I think I know how I'm going to approach round 2 of the conversation whenever we have it. Part of me really didn't like this processing time because it meant I would overthink it and probably run away because that's what I do when things get somewhat complicated but if he's willing to try it, then I'm all in. if not, well I understand it and I don't blame him for it at all but I'll deal with it "Nothing safe is worth the drive" "This love is difficult, but it's real" sorry literally made me think of Taylor songs. XD |
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Post by sparksfly713 on Dec 10, 2017 18:00:52 GMT -5
it's not really about the 2 hours. It's the fact that there it would be long distance. Anyway, sometimes 2 hour car rides are really great for thinking about things (and for once maybe not overthinking it?) and I think I know how I'm going to approach round 2 of the conversation whenever we have it. Part of me really didn't like this processing time because it meant I would overthink it and probably run away because that's what I do when things get somewhat complicated but if he's willing to try it, then I'm all in. if not, well I understand it and I don't blame him for it at all but I'll deal with it "Nothing safe is worth the drive" "This love is difficult, but it's real" sorry literally made me think of Taylor songs. XD the first one is actually the quote i was thinking about in the car |
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Post by ketsiyahkeren on Dec 10, 2017 21:56:19 GMT -5
So I might get to see the guy I like tomorrow!! I am so excited and nervous, I am gonna tell him that I like him!! Prayers would be much appreciated this is the first time really that I have every liked a guy this much. I AM SO NERVOUS!!!!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2017 22:03:09 GMT -5
So I might get to see the guy I like tomorrow!! I am so excited and nervous, I am gonna tell him that I like him!! Prayers would be much appreciated this is the first time really that I have every liked a guy this much. I AM SO NERVOUS!!!!! Wishing you the best of luck! |
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Post by Kim Bjarne Sørensen on Dec 11, 2017 6:51:54 GMT -5
So I might get to see the guy I like tomorrow!! I am so excited and nervous, I am gonna tell him that I like him!! Prayers would be much appreciated this is the first time really that I have every liked a guy this much. I AM SO NERVOUS!!!!! Wishing you the best of luck! Hi Ketsiyah. I Wishing you the best of luck too. . I was 27 years old when I met my wife Gerda, and I have always been very shy. Therefore, I wrote a letter to her where I wrote what I felt. She still has the letter lying in a drawer as a memory. and now I think we'll be together to one of us die. With best regards Kim B S. |
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Post by sparksfly713 on Dec 11, 2017 7:56:11 GMT -5
I kind of hate this waiting. I want to give him his space and his time to process but I'm also incredibly impatient and I just want to get it over with
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