Roman
Next Level Swiftie
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Posts: 5,851 
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Post by Roman on Feb 1, 2021 3:09:38 GMT -5
We're trying to get me an appointment to get my wisdom teeth out soon. I'm scared. I've never been put to sleep before and I keep thinking "What if I don't wake up?". It's like, I don't want to be asleep because then I might not wake up, but I also don't want to be awake and hear...anything. The sound of a regular tooth getting pulled already makes me nauseous. I'm also worried about saying something embarrassing while I'm loopy. It’s a bit of a strange idea to be out completely. But it’s definitely the best option. You really don’t want to be (half) conscious while they work on you. I’ve been under full narcosis twice. It’s not that scary. You’ll be out before you know it. Only tip I want to give you is: take your time waking up. Wait until you’re clear again and go to the bathroom to get the stuff out of your system. Funny story: while my mom was waking up from her operation, she talked to the nurse about her stuffed panda bear for an hour  |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Feb 1, 2021 5:51:54 GMT -5
We're trying to get me an appointment to get my wisdom teeth out soon. I'm scared. I've never been put to sleep before and I keep thinking "What if I don't wake up?". It's like, I don't want to be asleep because then I might not wake up, but I also don't want to be awake and hear...anything. The sound of a regular tooth getting pulled already makes me nauseous. I'm also worried about saying something embarrassing while I'm loopy. I had a teeth operation twice and was put to sleep completely for 6 and the other time for 7 hours. I always was extremely nervous before it, but in theory there is nothing to worry about. My only problem was that I was completely dizzy and had to puke after I woke up for over a week, but that's nothing you have to fear because I guess it's something that is only for me because of my metabolic disorder, but back when I had those operations nobody knew that I have this disorder. And don't worry about saying embarrassing things, everyone will think you talk stupid things without a piece of truth in it (even if you really mean it that way), it was the same for me |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2021 1:20:41 GMT -5
Something that has been randomly weighing on my mind is whether I want to become a mother or not. It seems like everyone either knows for sure that they want to become a parent or they don't want to become a parent. I know it's silly, but I think part of the reason is because I feel too young still even though almost everyone I went to high school with has a child. Another reason is because it seems like moms lose their selves after having a baby and that sounds terrifying. I actually get sad when they talk about what motherhood is truly like. I don't know, I feel like if I grew up and read my mother's posts from when I was a baby, I would take them as I ruined her life. I don't want to put my dreams and goals aside. I don't want to watch my life pass me by. I'm currently trying to figure out my dreams and really start living. Once I get there, I don't want to come back to this feeling. So I guess I'm just wondering if it's possible to become a mother and still work towards your dreams and live your life. It also seems like, to me, that mothers suffer more than fathers. Oh, let me have a child with someone and the father doesn't pitch in. Lol, goodbye. But, like, I can't tell if it's truly the father not helping out or the mother having a special bond with the child and feeling like she has to do more. I've been reading Attached which is a book about the different attachment styles and I thought it was odd when they would talk about the affect mothers have on their child's attachment style(s) because it seemed like only mothers have an affect. So on top of worrying that I'll pass my problems along to my kids (although I do know that I don't want to have kids until I feel like my mental health is better), now I'm going to worry that I'll lose me once I find me again. But maybe fathers feel the same way, too.
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Post by taytaytay on Feb 27, 2021 3:12:33 GMT -5
Something that has been randomly weighing on my mind is whether I want to become a mother or not. It seems like everyone either knows for sure that they want to become a parent or they don't want to become a parent. I know it's silly, but I think part of the reason is because I feel too young still even though almost everyone I went to high school with has a child. Another reason is because it seems like moms lose their selves after having a baby and that sounds terrifying. I actually get sad when they talk about what motherhood is truly like. I don't know, I feel like if I grew up and read my mother's posts from when I was a baby, I would take them as I ruined her life. I don't want to put my dreams and goals aside. I don't want to watch my life pass me by. I'm currently trying to figure out my dreams and really start living. Once I get there, I don't want to come back to this feeling. So I guess I'm just wondering if it's possible to become a mother and still work towards your dreams and live your life. It also seems like, to me, that mothers suffer more than fathers. Oh, let me have a child with someone and the father doesn't pitch in. Lol, goodbye. But, like, I can't tell if it's truly the father not helping out or the mother having a special bond with the child and feeling like she has to do more. I've been reading Attached which is a book about the different attachment styles and I thought it was odd when they would talk about the affect mothers have on their child's attachment style(s) because it seemed like only mothers have an affect. So on top of worrying that I'll pass my problems along to my kids (although I do know that I don't want to have kids until I feel like my mental health is better), now I'm going to worry that I'll lose me once I find me again. But maybe fathers feel the same way, too. Honestly, I don't think you can ever know until you're in the situation where you're going to have them. I was just having this discussion yesterday actually, and all of us know people who were either desperate for kids but got into a long term relationship and decided it wasn't for them, or they swore they would never have kids, got in a serious relationship and had 4 kids who they're crazy about. I will also say I think with the right partner it's still possible to live your life as you want to! I know my mum worked towards become a head teacher when she'd had my sister, and when I was born she worked towards being a vicar. My dad did a lot of the heavy lifting when I was a kid (whereas I think my mum did a lot of the work with my sister), and he still had time to pursue new careers and work towards his goals too. Parenting is a tag team thing, not something just for the mothers. |
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Post by SomeFearlessChick on Feb 27, 2021 6:36:27 GMT -5
Something that has been randomly weighing on my mind is whether I want to become a mother or not. It seems like everyone either knows for sure that they want to become a parent or they don't want to become a parent. I know it's silly, but I think part of the reason is because I feel too young still even though almost everyone I went to high school with has a child. Another reason is because it seems like moms lose their selves after having a baby and that sounds terrifying. I actually get sad when they talk about what motherhood is truly like. I don't know, I feel like if I grew up and read my mother's posts from when I was a baby, I would take them as I ruined her life. I don't want to put my dreams and goals aside. I don't want to watch my life pass me by. I'm currently trying to figure out my dreams and really start living. Once I get there, I don't want to come back to this feeling. So I guess I'm just wondering if it's possible to become a mother and still work towards your dreams and live your life. It also seems like, to me, that mothers suffer more than fathers. Oh, let me have a child with someone and the father doesn't pitch in. Lol, goodbye. But, like, I can't tell if it's truly the father not helping out or the mother having a special bond with the child and feeling like she has to do more. I've been reading Attached which is a book about the different attachment styles and I thought it was odd when they would talk about the affect mothers have on their child's attachment style(s) because it seemed like only mothers have an affect. So on top of worrying that I'll pass my problems along to my kids (although I do know that I don't want to have kids until I feel like my mental health is better), now I'm going to worry that I'll lose me once I find me again. But maybe fathers feel the same way, too. I think it's circumstantial really. If you want to do it with somebody, it's better to be on the same page as them, but really you don't have to worry about that stuff til later on  I don't have children so I can't really comment on the domestic labour balance but if that's a path I did choose, it would be a non-negotiable that this would be shared, much the same for baby rearing. Don't pay any mind to the mention of mothers being the prime attachment figure, you can blame John Bowlby for that one, but it's a fallacy if a partner is involved, they should have just as much attachment and involvement. In fact, from personal (6+ years teaching experience) I will tell you that the children whose both parents expressed love and involvement in their life I found to be a lot more mature and often ahead of their peers, not to say that single parents can't do this either, but it just makes such a big difference in a child's development when a father shows the same sensitivity and enthusiasm for their child (I'm saying father very broadly here, just when one parent seems to be taking the majority load it's usually the mother). |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2021 14:31:41 GMT -5
Thanks, you two! I can’t see myself seriously thinking about this until I feel like I have more of a life. It just seems like they tell you to decide if you do want kids or not before you start dating. That makes me worry that I might waste somebody’s time if I end up deciding I don’t want kids. But...I think if I don’t have any, I’ll regret not having any. I just know that I do want it to be a tag team, as Emma put it. My family has never been like families in tv shows and movies. You know, the parents that are still so in love, everyone spends time together, each child has a good relationship with the mother and father, and the home is safe, warm, and full of love. That’s the dream and I hope I’ll be able to tell better in the future when someone is capable of creating those things with me.
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Roman
Next Level Swiftie
50%
Posts: 5,851
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Post by Roman on Feb 27, 2021 15:39:14 GMT -5
Thanks, you two! I can’t see myself seriously thinking about this until I feel like I have more of a life. It just seems like they tell you to decide if you do want kids or not before you start dating. That makes me worry that I might waste somebody’s time if I end up deciding I don’t want kids. But...I think if I don’t have any, I’ll regret not having any. I just know that I do want it to be a tag team, as Emma put it. My family has never been like families in tv shows and movies. You know, the parents that are still so in love, everyone spends time together, each child has a good relationship with the mother and father, and the home is safe, warm, and full of love. That’s the dream and I hope I’ll be able to tell better in the future when someone is capable of creating those things with me. I understand that you think about it. It’s always smart to research and brainstorm a bit. But you shouldn’t really see having kids (or not) as a goal. Priority one is to make sure YOU are doing well. If that’s going well a relationship is a possibility. If that goes well too, you guys will figure it out if you want kids or should have kids and when. And think of it this way: if your partner really loves you, he’ll be in it for you. Kids or no kids won’t change that. |
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Post by taytaytay on Feb 28, 2021 4:41:12 GMT -5
Thanks, you two! I can’t see myself seriously thinking about this until I feel like I have more of a life. It just seems like they tell you to decide if you do want kids or not before you start dating. That makes me worry that I might waste somebody’s time if I end up deciding I don’t want kids. But...I think if I don’t have any, I’ll regret not having any. I just know that I do want it to be a tag team, as Emma put it. My family has never been like families in tv shows and movies. You know, the parents that are still so in love, everyone spends time together, each child has a good relationship with the mother and father, and the home is safe, warm, and full of love. That’s the dream and I hope I’ll be able to tell better in the future when someone is capable of creating those things with me. I really don't think you have to decide before you start dating! I just think if you're in a serious relationship you need to be ok saying where you're at truthfully, whether that's for or against or undecided, and let your partner know if that changes at all. I've never had an easy home life either for a number of reasons and for a long time that put me off ever wanting kids, but I did a lot of thinking and self exploration (which sounds weird but I just mean like, getting more life experiences and seeing more of the world to try and understand perspectives) and I'm pretty sure I do want them. That might change one day, but as of now that's where I'm at. I also think that it's worth saying here that I don't think being a parent specifically means a man and a woman producing a baby biologically, and there are lots of other ways you can be a parent, whether through adoption, fostering, step kids, any number of things. I think these are also things to consider when you're going on this journey of deciding if you want them - would you ok being a parent if it was through another means? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2021 20:03:43 GMT -5
Thanks, you two! I can’t see myself seriously thinking about this until I feel like I have more of a life. It just seems like they tell you to decide if you do want kids or not before you start dating. That makes me worry that I might waste somebody’s time if I end up deciding I don’t want kids. But...I think if I don’t have any, I’ll regret not having any. I just know that I do want it to be a tag team, as Emma put it. My family has never been like families in tv shows and movies. You know, the parents that are still so in love, everyone spends time together, each child has a good relationship with the mother and father, and the home is safe, warm, and full of love. That’s the dream and I hope I’ll be able to tell better in the future when someone is capable of creating those things with me. I really don't think you have to decide before you start dating! I just think if you're in a serious relationship you need to be ok saying where you're at truthfully, whether that's for or against or undecided, and let your partner know if that changes at all. I've never had an easy home life either for a number of reasons and for a long time that put me off ever wanting kids, but I did a lot of thinking and self exploration (which sounds weird but I just mean like, getting more life experiences and seeing more of the world to try and understand perspectives) and I'm pretty sure I do want them. That might change one day, but as of now that's where I'm at. I also think that it's worth saying here that I don't think being a parent specifically means a man and a woman producing a baby biologically, and there are lots of other ways you can be a parent, whether through adoption, fostering, step kids, any number of things. I think these are also things to consider when you're going on this journey of deciding if you want them - would you ok being a parent if it was through another means? I have to admit, when the topic of marriage, kids, and living together gets brought up early in the relationship, it scares me! Like, we’ve only been together a few months and you’re already picking out baby names??? So, yeah, being honest like you said would be a good idea. Besides, I want time to really get to know him and be able to tell if he’s committed to building a future with me. Although I believe your question was rhetorical, I couldn’t become a foster parent. I would grow attached to the child and it would be hard when they get adopted or age out of the system. I feel like most people say they don’t want to raise other people’s kids but I honestly wouldn’t mind it if I met someone that has children already. As long as they and their biological mother(s) accept me. I definitely wouldn’t try to replace her. Ha, a child having 3 parents! Kids like that must be spoooiiiiiiled! |
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Post by taytaytay on Mar 1, 2021 5:41:38 GMT -5
I really don't think you have to decide before you start dating! I just think if you're in a serious relationship you need to be ok saying where you're at truthfully, whether that's for or against or undecided, and let your partner know if that changes at all. I've never had an easy home life either for a number of reasons and for a long time that put me off ever wanting kids, but I did a lot of thinking and self exploration (which sounds weird but I just mean like, getting more life experiences and seeing more of the world to try and understand perspectives) and I'm pretty sure I do want them. That might change one day, but as of now that's where I'm at. I also think that it's worth saying here that I don't think being a parent specifically means a man and a woman producing a baby biologically, and there are lots of other ways you can be a parent, whether through adoption, fostering, step kids, any number of things. I think these are also things to consider when you're going on this journey of deciding if you want them - would you ok being a parent if it was through another means? I have to admit, when the topic of marriage, kids, and living together gets brought up early in the relationship, it scares me! Like, we’ve only been together a few months and you’re already picking out baby names??? So, yeah, being honest like you said would be a good idea. Besides, I want time to really get to know him and be able to tell if he’s committed to building a future with me. Although I believe your question was rhetorical, I couldn’t become a foster parent. I would grow attached to the child and it would be hard when they get adopted or age out of the system. I feel like most people say they don’t want to raise other people’s kids but I honestly wouldn’t mind it if I met someone that has children already. As long as they and their biological mother(s) accept me. I definitely wouldn’t try to replace her. Ha, a child having 3 parents! Kids like that must be spoooiiiiiiled! Same aha, but I was pretty straight up with my boyfriend like before we even made it official and was like 'One day down the line I'm going to want kids, if that's not ok then I don't want to get in a serious relationship with someone who doesn't see the same future as me' and it seems to have worked out ok aha! Yeah it was rhetorical but it's good you're thinking about it! I've always been ok with having kids by other means - my sister's boyfriend and his sister are both adopted and that sort of opened my eyes to it a bit more, plus for years I was convinced life was telling me that I was going to be a step mum to someone's kids so I just became ok with that idea. |
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Post by piratenovelist on Mar 1, 2021 14:53:02 GMT -5
I’m nervous I’m gonna be seen as some kind of freak because I’ve not had a date in 15 years and never even been in a real “relationship”. There’s many times I’ve negatively convinced myself that maybe my chance in this lifetime was missed because of the hand that was given to me in life.
I’ve talked before about how college I was laser focused and didn’t date. Idk it’s my last month of my 20s and I have this negative comment in my head that’s been bugging me about it...
I mean I’m honestly ok with being single, but it would be nice to know SOMEONE is attracted to the current and future version of who I am to be as I grow up more.
That being said I have a different confession to make for a different post. Lol
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Post by piratenovelist on Mar 1, 2021 14:53:19 GMT -5
I’m not a fan of reputation there I said it....
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Mar 1, 2021 15:38:23 GMT -5
I’m nervous I’m gonna be seen as some kind of freak because I’ve not had a date in 15 years and never even been in a real “relationship”. There’s many times I’ve negatively convinced myself that maybe my chance in this lifetime was missed because of the hand that was given to me in life. I’ve talked before about how college I was laser focused and didn’t date. Idk it’s my last month of my 20s and I have this negative comment in my head that’s been bugging me about it... I mean I’m honestly ok with being single, but it would be nice to know SOMEONE is attracted to the current and future version of who I am to be as I grow up more. That being said I have a different confession to make for a different post. Lol I also never had a date and I'm also 29. Maybe some day there will be someone for us. |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Mar 1, 2021 15:38:50 GMT -5
I’m not a fan of reputation there I said it.... Me too! |
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Post by piratenovelist on Mar 1, 2021 15:47:47 GMT -5
I’m nervous I’m gonna be seen as some kind of freak because I’ve not had a date in 15 years and never even been in a real “relationship”. There’s many times I’ve negatively convinced myself that maybe my chance in this lifetime was missed because of the hand that was given to me in life. I’ve talked before about how college I was laser focused and didn’t date. Idk it’s my last month of my 20s and I have this negative comment in my head that’s been bugging me about it... I mean I’m honestly ok with being single, but it would be nice to know SOMEONE is attracted to the current and future version of who I am to be as I grow up more. That being said I have a different confession to make for a different post. Lol I also never had a date and I'm also 29. Maybe some day there will be someone for us. Whoot! It just means we are having someone saved special for us. It also doesn’t help Taylor made me a hopeless romantic. I can feel the happiness or sadness in the tunes without ever having been in that situation..... I was called weird once for saying it, but being an empath also helps I guess.... #blametaylorforbeingsogoodatwriting |
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