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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Apr 18, 2020 1:10:27 GMT -5
I’ve kind of been having a lot of kind of suicidal thoughts lately and I’m not sure if it’s like a new thing because I’m stressed or if I always kind of have? Like I guess I’ve always thought about it but haven’t considered it an option for a long time because I decided I just couldn’t do it to my family, but I’ve always kind of had these thoughts and just brushed them off but they seem to be increasing in volume lately and I’ve sort of started to acknowledge them and I don’t know if it’s better to do that and try to understand why I’m feeling this way or just ignore it as usual... I think when I try to bury thoughts I start to have more thoughts and it all just starts running together and that’s probably why I’m where I’m at now because I’m always trying to ignore my thoughts and things are getting really loud XD I know those kind of thoughts, especially in hard times they come very quickly and massive. I don't know what's the best to do for you, maybe to search help or find a way on your own, which is really difficult, but remember that if you search someone to talk to, I'm always here.
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Roman
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Post by Roman on Apr 18, 2020 2:21:07 GMT -5
I’ve kind of been having a lot of kind of suicidal thoughts lately and I’m not sure if it’s like a new thing because I’m stressed or if I always kind of have? Like I guess I’ve always thought about it but haven’t considered it an option for a long time because I decided I just couldn’t do it to my family, but I’ve always kind of had these thoughts and just brushed them off but they seem to be increasing in volume lately and I’ve sort of started to acknowledge them and I don’t know if it’s better to do that and try to understand why I’m feeling this way or just ignore it as usual... I think when I try to bury thoughts I start to have more thoughts and it all just starts running together and that’s probably why I’m where I’m at now because I’m always trying to ignore my thoughts and things are getting really loud XD I know those kind of thoughts, especially in hard times they come very quickly and massive. I don't know what's the best to do for you, maybe to search help or find a way on your own, which is really difficult, but remember that if you search someone to talk to, I'm always here. It’s never a good idea to suppress your thoughts and feelings. They’re there for a reason. It’s probably a sign that you feel depressed and anxious about your life. And it’s not surprising that this gets worse during these uncertain scary times. You have to analyze these thoughts carefully. Are they thoughts about life not being worth it and you wonder what the purpose of life is? Or does it go further and are you starting to think about ways to end your life? The first is rather common, because we all struggle with the purpose of life. Still you have to keep an eye on it how far these thoughts go and how depressed you actually are, because it can easily result in a spiral down. The second type of thoughts are obviously very dangerous, especially if you notice you’re on the verge of moving on to actions. Anyway you should talk about it with someone. Preferably with a professional. You guys have to promise you will talk to someone, even if it’s just on here, before it gets worse. Don’t you dare doing stupid things! This is not only directed at you and MyCastleCrumbledOvernight Everyone on here needs to promise that. We’re one big family. We will support each other.
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Post by TaylorSwiftFan on Apr 18, 2020 4:04:47 GMT -5
I have a comforter/blanket that I think I've had since I was maybe 10 or something (I can't remember my exact age) and I still have it and sleep with it every night. It's like an actual security blanket. And it must be the smell of it that comforts me.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2020 15:15:42 GMT -5
I'm terrible with this, but I still listen to music despite the fact if they have beef with Taylor. I know that's probably bad to say in a swiftie community, but I'm not gonna let beef stop me from listening to music or watching a fashion show or watching a movie. For instance, I still watched the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, even after the rumors that Karlie Kloss and Taylor weren't getting along. I still listened to the new Sam Smith and Demi Lovato song, despite both of them having beef with Taylor because of Sc**ter. With the acceptation of K*nye W*est and K*m K*rd*shi*n, I respect a lot of people because I don't know the whole story, and I doubt I ever will, and I will never take away from them that they are making good music/art. I can agree a little bit. It annoys me watching other fans continuously trash them. We gotta think, too, most of these rumors and feuds come from gossip magazines and nothing in those is true. I believe you can dislike a celebrity because of who they are as a person but still like their art.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2020 15:28:16 GMT -5
I’ve kind of been having a lot of kind of suicidal thoughts lately and I’m not sure if it’s like a new thing because I’m stressed or if I always kind of have? Like I guess I’ve always thought about it but haven’t considered it an option for a long time because I decided I just couldn’t do it to my family, but I’ve always kind of had these thoughts and just brushed them off but they seem to be increasing in volume lately and I’ve sort of started to acknowledge them and I don’t know if it’s better to do that and try to understand why I’m feeling this way or just ignore it as usual... I think when I try to bury thoughts I start to have more thoughts and it all just starts running together and that’s probably why I’m where I’m at now because I’m always trying to ignore my thoughts and things are getting really loud XD Aw, Reagan... :c I wish I could hug you, if you like hugs, of course. It is good that you're acknowledging them and trying to understand them. It's hard to understand these kinds of feelings when you also think you have a pretty good life overall. I just want you to know that you're never alone and very much needed here. You still have so many good moments ahead of you. The storm will pass soon. ![](https://i.imgur.com/TABGKFv.png)
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Post by taytaytay on Apr 18, 2020 16:04:10 GMT -5
I'm terrible with this, but I still listen to music despite the fact if they have beef with Taylor. I know that's probably bad to say in a swiftie community, but I'm not gonna let beef stop me from listening to music or watching a fashion show or watching a movie. For instance, I still watched the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, even after the rumors that Karlie Kloss and Taylor weren't getting along. I still listened to the new Sam Smith and Demi Lovato song, despite both of them having beef with Taylor because of Sc**ter. With the acceptation of K*nye W*est and K*m K*rd*shi*n, I respect a lot of people because I don't know the whole story, and I doubt I ever will, and I will never take away from them that they are making good music/art. I can agree a little bit. It annoys me watching other fans continuously trash them. We gotta think, too, most of these rumors and feuds come from gossip magazines and nothing in those is true. I believe you can dislike a celebrity because of who they are as a person but still like their art. Plus people are always quick to jump on Taylor's mental health when people are mean to her online but they don't think of the reciprocal. Unless another artist has been openly and clearly a problem in public, I think hating them based on rumours and speculation is just a bit crap. There's two sides to every story.
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Post by MyCastleCrumbledOvernight on Apr 19, 2020 10:57:10 GMT -5
I know those kind of thoughts, especially in hard times they come very quickly and massive. I don't know what's the best to do for you, maybe to search help or find a way on your own, which is really difficult, but remember that if you search someone to talk to, I'm always here. It’s never a good idea to suppress your thoughts and feelings. They’re there for a reason. It’s probably a sign that you feel depressed and anxious about your life. And it’s not surprising that this gets worse during these uncertain scary times. You have to analyze these thoughts carefully. Are they thoughts about life not being worth it and you wonder what the purpose of life is? Or does it go further and are you starting to think about ways to end your life? The first is rather common, because we all struggle with the purpose of life. Still you have to keep an eye on it how far these thoughts go and how depressed you actually are, because it can easily result in a spiral down. The second type of thoughts are obviously very dangerous, especially if you notice you’re on the verge of moving on to actions. Anyway you should talk about it with someone. Preferably with a professional. You guys have to promise you will talk to someone, even if it’s just on here, before it gets worse. Don’t you dare doing stupid things! This is not only directed at you and MyCastleCrumbledOvernight Everyone on here needs to promise that. We’re one big family. We will support each other. I think I'm somewhere in the middle of that, like when I'm stressed I keep thinking of ways to do it but I really don't think I would. But I don't know, why would I be thinking about it? Part of me wishes I could see a therapist but it's just not an option for me and if it was I don't know if I could do it, it seems scary to talk to a stranger about things...
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Apr 19, 2020 11:55:44 GMT -5
It’s never a good idea to suppress your thoughts and feelings. They’re there for a reason. It’s probably a sign that you feel depressed and anxious about your life. And it’s not surprising that this gets worse during these uncertain scary times. You have to analyze these thoughts carefully. Are they thoughts about life not being worth it and you wonder what the purpose of life is? Or does it go further and are you starting to think about ways to end your life? The first is rather common, because we all struggle with the purpose of life. Still you have to keep an eye on it how far these thoughts go and how depressed you actually are, because it can easily result in a spiral down. The second type of thoughts are obviously very dangerous, especially if you notice you’re on the verge of moving on to actions. Anyway you should talk about it with someone. Preferably with a professional. You guys have to promise you will talk to someone, even if it’s just on here, before it gets worse. Don’t you dare doing stupid things! This is not only directed at you and MyCastleCrumbledOvernight Everyone on here needs to promise that. We’re one big family. We will support each other. I think I'm somewhere in the middle of that, like when I'm stressed I keep thinking of ways to do it but I really don't think I would. But I don't know, why would I be thinking about it? Part of me wishes I could see a therapist but it's just not an option for me and if it was I don't know if I could do it, it seems scary to talk to a stranger about things... Is there a reason why it isn't an option for you? Cause I know that often it is easier to tell such things a stranger than someone you know. It is a bit strange at the beginning, but it will get better and possibly it would help you.
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Post by MyCastleCrumbledOvernight on Apr 19, 2020 12:16:46 GMT -5
I think I'm somewhere in the middle of that, like when I'm stressed I keep thinking of ways to do it but I really don't think I would. But I don't know, why would I be thinking about it? Part of me wishes I could see a therapist but it's just not an option for me and if it was I don't know if I could do it, it seems scary to talk to a stranger about things... Is there a reason why it isn't an option for you? Cause I know that often it is easier to tell such things a stranger than someone you know. It is a bit strange at the beginning, but it will get better and possibly it would help you. you know how the parents are ![](https://i.imgur.com/3M7kKFl.gif)
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Roman
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Post by Roman on Apr 19, 2020 14:49:31 GMT -5
Is there a reason why it isn't an option for you? Cause I know that often it is easier to tell such things a stranger than someone you know. It is a bit strange at the beginning, but it will get better and possibly it would help you. you know how the parents are ![](https://i.imgur.com/3M7kKFl.gif) I can imagine it’s a hurdle. But I assume your parents won’t deny it if it’s important to you and for your health. You would benefit greatly from it if you find a good therapist.
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Apr 20, 2020 0:23:59 GMT -5
Is there a reason why it isn't an option for you? Cause I know that often it is easier to tell such things a stranger than someone you know. It is a bit strange at the beginning, but it will get better and possibly it would help you. you know how the parents are ![](https://i.imgur.com/3M7kKFl.gif) Yep, I know. Have you tried to talk about seeing therapist with your parents? I don't think they want you in a bad mental health or something, I think they want you to feel good.
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Post by MyCastleCrumbledOvernight on Apr 20, 2020 8:46:08 GMT -5
you know how the parents are ![](https://i.imgur.com/3M7kKFl.gif) Yep, I know. Have you tried to talk about seeing therapist with your parents? I don't think they want you in a bad mental health or something, I think they want you to feel good. we talked about it once long ago but it didn't go over well...
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Apr 20, 2020 11:44:26 GMT -5
Yep, I know. Have you tried to talk about seeing therapist with your parents? I don't think they want you in a bad mental health or something, I think they want you to feel good. we talked about it once long ago but it didn't go over well... That's not good. And something that is free on the internet? I don't know any american sites, but something like that exists.
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sharonlovestaylor
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Apr 25, 2020 19:54:44 GMT -5
Realized last night that I’m using the virus as an excuse to not get help...told myself all of the offices would be closed and didn’t even bother with seeing if they were or not. BUT, I took a step last night and found a place in my city that’s offering phone and video sessions at the moment. It’s going to be a little uncomfortable since there’s nowhere I can go in my house for complete privacy. I know I need to do it regardless. I’m going to try to ask my mom tomorrow about setting up an appointment. That sounds like a great idea. Good luck. I wish you all the best xx
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2020 16:44:04 GMT -5
Really sucks that I don't live somewhere where this would be possible because I would stay covered up from the neck down, if I could, but I'd freaking die in the summer if I tried that. I hate wearing shorts. I hate wearing tank tops. I hate wearing short sleeves. I hate wearing anything that's even the slightest bit tight. (I say as I'm wearing yoga pants...fine with those, though) Was wearing shorts yesterday and felt like everyone was staring at my ugly thighs. I swear one person I passed said "she's so fat". Everything was jiggling and people were probably disgusted and I was so uncomfortable. I just want to stay in baggy clothes that hide everything. It freaking sucks that, for my stupid skin, I have to put this lotion on two of my most hated spots: my arms and my thighs. Although I can't tell where the stupid crap has helped at all. There probably won't be any mirrors at all in my future house. Maybe just a small one but that's it. I don't want to see myself and I don't want anyone to see me. Guess I know now why I was a little obsessed with sweatshirts last fall/winter. Maybe this is also why I get annoyed every time my sister says "you're not as big as you think you are" okay you wear skin tight clothes all you want, I'm going to wear something that won't cling to me. Maybe I'll just wear a trash bag from now on.
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