sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
Shake it Off
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jun 14, 2023 23:29:48 GMT -5
Its partly because I'm questioning if I am really a good wife and mother! Am I even a good person?
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Post by SydneyPaige on Jun 14, 2023 23:37:56 GMT -5
Its partly because I'm questioning if I am really a good wife and mother! Am I even a good person? I think caring about whether you're a good wife, mother or person makes you one. If you were a bad wife, mother or person, you wouldn't care about it, but you do. To show you care is to show you love. |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Jun 15, 2023 1:01:04 GMT -5
Its partly because I'm questioning if I am really a good wife and mother! Am I even a good person? I only know you as a good person. And even if you should really have a time were you are not the best that you are on other days, everyone has those moments or weeks. That doesn't make you a bad person, wife or mother at all, it's just a sign that you're just a human being, like everyone. |
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sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
Shake it Off
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jun 15, 2023 10:36:16 GMT -5
Its partly because I'm questioning if I am really a good wife and mother! Am I even a good person? I think caring about whether you're a good wife, mother or person makes you one. If you were a bad wife, mother or person, you wouldn't care about it, but you do. To show you care is to show you love. When your right your right. |
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sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
Shake it Off
Posts: 6,757
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jun 15, 2023 10:51:05 GMT -5
Its partly because I'm questioning if I am really a good wife and mother! Am I even a good person? I only know you as a good person. And even if you should really have a time were you are not the best that you are on other days, everyone has those moments or weeks. That doesn't make you a bad person, wife or mother at all, it's just a sign that you're just a human being, like everyone. Thanks! I feel better! |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Jul 17, 2023 14:54:44 GMT -5
I could cry right now and since some hours. Since february I tried to set up a visit from my great uncle (who is music crazy and also a collector of vinyls and music stuff), to watch the 1989 tour video together. Today finally was the day he came to watch it, I cleaned up my TS Wonderland for us to watch the video in peace and without happening what always happens when I invite someone for me. My grandpa said we should watch it in the living room and well yeah, it happened what I feared will happen then, My grandpa talked with him the whole time distracting him from everything and I wasn't able to say something myself. He even took him outside to show him every little thing about I don't know what. So in the end I was watching it alone and without hearing very much of it. Even though I invited him again in 2 weeks for a normal talking visit, like always. And he is often here to just talk (And also there, I never can say something because my grandpa talks over everyone). Now I can't invite him again to watch this video and I could cry because I again had nothing from it. And I don't know anyone else who is interested in something like that or even in something I'm interested in. I just can't invite anyone for me. As my grandpa had to leave after around 2/3 of the concert video it got better, but yeah, the experience was already ruined.
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sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jul 18, 2023 10:27:49 GMT -5
I could cry right now and since some hours. Since february I tried to set up a visit from my great uncle (who is music crazy and also a collector of vinyls and music stuff), to watch the 1989 tour video together. Today finally was the day he came to watch it, I cleaned up my TS Wonderland for us to watch the video in peace and without happening what always happens when I invite someone for me. My grandpa said we should watch it in the living room and well yeah, it happened what I feared will happen then, My grandpa talked with him the whole time distracting him from everything and I wasn't able to say something myself. He even took him outside to show him every little thing about I don't know what. So in the end I was watching it alone and without hearing very much of it. Even though I invited him again in 2 weeks for a normal talking visit, like always. And he is often here to just talk (And also there, I never can say something because my grandpa talks over everyone). Now I can't invite him again to watch this video and I could cry because I again had nothing from it. And I don't know anyone else who is interested in something like that or even in something I'm interested in. I just can't invite anyone for me. As my grandpa had to leave after around 2/3 of the concert video it got better, but yeah, the experience was already ruined. Wow your grandpa sounds like my husband a little. My husband has to dominate the conversation whenever I have someone over to visit me. He even does it with my social worker. She started doing phone visits and taking me out of the house to visit because she did not like his overbearingness. I'm so sad for you. It's like your grandpa doesn't want you to have any friends! I know my husband doesn't want me to have friends! |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Jul 18, 2023 14:27:07 GMT -5
I could cry right now and since some hours. Since february I tried to set up a visit from my great uncle (who is music crazy and also a collector of vinyls and music stuff), to watch the 1989 tour video together. Today finally was the day he came to watch it, I cleaned up my TS Wonderland for us to watch the video in peace and without happening what always happens when I invite someone for me. My grandpa said we should watch it in the living room and well yeah, it happened what I feared will happen then, My grandpa talked with him the whole time distracting him from everything and I wasn't able to say something myself. He even took him outside to show him every little thing about I don't know what. So in the end I was watching it alone and without hearing very much of it. Even though I invited him again in 2 weeks for a normal talking visit, like always. And he is often here to just talk (And also there, I never can say something because my grandpa talks over everyone). Now I can't invite him again to watch this video and I could cry because I again had nothing from it. And I don't know anyone else who is interested in something like that or even in something I'm interested in. I just can't invite anyone for me. As my grandpa had to leave after around 2/3 of the concert video it got better, but yeah, the experience was already ruined. Wow your grandpa sounds like my husband a little. My husband has to dominate the conversation whenever I have someone over to visit me. He even does it with my social worker. She started doing phone visits and taking me out of the house to visit because she did not like his overbearingness. I'm so sad for you. It's like your grandpa doesn't want you to have any friends! I know my husband doesn't want me to have friends! Yeah, he does that all the time and with everyone. I simply can't invite people. And by the way, I don't know any people  He also always wants to speak for me in front of others when they ask me something or say something to me. I hate it, I can speak myself, even though I have problems speaking to strangers, but I can speak (now?  ) The worst is that he always calls me by the name of my grand uncle when he talks with him about me and that he doesn't know me, even though we live in the same houshold since 30 years, which means almost my whole life. And like I said, I don't know anyone else who is even slightly interested in music or Taylor Swift, my grand uncle just loves almost everything that has to do with music and entertainmend systems and concerts, so he likes to talk with me about my Taylor stuff and sometimes watch a video with me, but it's always ruined by that behaviour of my grandpa. My great uncle had an own band in his younger years and yesterday he told us that they had recorded professional demos in the 1970's and almost had a recording deal, but then three members had to go to the Bundeswehr and so the band was gone. He is a great guitar player and has an electric guitar at home, it's the same Taylor played on the Speak Now tour while she performed Mine, just in another color. But it seems like you know that perfectly. Does your husband also want to talk for you with your social worker? |
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sharonlovestaylor
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jul 18, 2023 20:29:46 GMT -5
Wow your grandpa sounds like my husband a little. My husband has to dominate the conversation whenever I have someone over to visit me. He even does it with my social worker. She started doing phone visits and taking me out of the house to visit because she did not like his overbearingness. I'm so sad for you. It's like your grandpa doesn't want you to have any friends! I know my husband doesn't want me to have friends! Yeah, he does that all the time and with everyone. I simply can't invite people. And by the way, I don't know any people He also always wants to speak for me in front of others when they ask me something or say something to me. I hate it, I can speak myself, even though I have problems speaking to strangers, but I can speak (now? ) The worst is that he always calls me by the name of my grand uncle when he talks with him about me and that he doesn't know me, even though we live in the same houshold since 30 years, which means almost my whole life. And like I said, I don't know anyone else who is even slightly interested in music or Taylor Swift, my grand uncle just loves almost everything that has to do with music and entertainmend systems and concerts, so he likes to talk with me about my Taylor stuff and sometimes watch a video with me, but it's always ruined by that behaviour of my grandpa. My great uncle had an own band in his younger years and yesterday he told us that they had recorded professional demos in the 1970's and almost had a recording deal, but then three members had to go to the Bundeswehr and so the band was gone. He is a great guitar player and has an electric guitar at home, it's the same Taylor played on the Speak Now tour while she performed Mine, just in another color. But it seems like you know that perfectly. Does your husband also want to talk for you with your social worker? Thankfully no my husband never speaks for me! The social worker wouldn't allow that anyways. Some of my friends have told me that they think my husband is controlling and abusive and they all don't like him very much. |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Jul 19, 2023 1:34:46 GMT -5
Yeah, he does that all the time and with everyone. I simply can't invite people. And by the way, I don't know any people He also always wants to speak for me in front of others when they ask me something or say something to me. I hate it, I can speak myself, even though I have problems speaking to strangers, but I can speak (now? ) The worst is that he always calls me by the name of my grand uncle when he talks with him about me and that he doesn't know me, even though we live in the same houshold since 30 years, which means almost my whole life. And like I said, I don't know anyone else who is even slightly interested in music or Taylor Swift, my grand uncle just loves almost everything that has to do with music and entertainmend systems and concerts, so he likes to talk with me about my Taylor stuff and sometimes watch a video with me, but it's always ruined by that behaviour of my grandpa. My great uncle had an own band in his younger years and yesterday he told us that they had recorded professional demos in the 1970's and almost had a recording deal, but then three members had to go to the Bundeswehr and so the band was gone. He is a great guitar player and has an electric guitar at home, it's the same Taylor played on the Speak Now tour while she performed Mine, just in another color. But it seems like you know that perfectly. Does your husband also want to talk for you with your social worker? Thankfully no my husband never speaks for me! The social worker wouldn't allow that anyways. Some of my friends have told me that they think my husband is controlling and abusive and they all don't like him very much. I've never seen him, so I can't say something about that. But I always hate it when my grandpa speaks for me. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot. Also he always thinks that he can't leave me alone, he thinks he or my mother always have to be where I am... |
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sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jul 19, 2023 10:42:16 GMT -5
Thankfully no my husband never speaks for me! The social worker wouldn't allow that anyways. Some of my friends have told me that they think my husband is controlling and abusive and they all don't like him very much. I've never seen him, so I can't say something about that. But I always hate it when my grandpa speaks for me. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot. Also he always thinks that he can't leave me alone, he thinks he or my mother always have to be where I am... My family and my husband for years thought that I had to be watched but that stopped when I got pregnant with Samantha. And when the doctors told them to stop it. |
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Jul 19, 2023 14:32:06 GMT -5
I've never seen him, so I can't say something about that. But I always hate it when my grandpa speaks for me. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot. Also he always thinks that he can't leave me alone, he thinks he or my mother always have to be where I am... My family and my husband for years thought that I had to be watched but that stopped when I got pregnant with Samantha. And when the doctors told them to stop it. At least something  I don't know why they think that about me though. |
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sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
Shake it Off
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jul 19, 2023 15:50:47 GMT -5
My family and my husband for years thought that I had to be watched but that stopped when I got pregnant with Samantha. And when the doctors told them to stop it. At least something I don't know why they think that about me though. I don't know either! |
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sharonlovestaylor
Next Level Swiftie
Shake it Off
Posts: 6,757
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Post by sharonlovestaylor on Jul 19, 2023 20:32:12 GMT -5
I'm so stressed out and unhappy! There I said it!!! I'm sick and tired of pretending!
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Post by oliviabenson(Taylor's Version) on Dec 12, 2023 15:04:40 GMT -5
Just watched a new (over here) episode of The Blacklist. And it made me cry. It was S09/E07 called Betwwen Sleep And Awake. And it touched me so much, because it reminded me much about me (just without the drugs part) and how I feel or felt after or since the death of my grandma. And also what I would love to tell her, if I could. Wasn't expecting that from a Blacklist episode.
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He also always wants to speak for me in front of others when they ask me something or say something to me. I hate it, I can speak myself, even though I have problems speaking to strangers, but I can speak (now? 
I don't know why they think that about me though.