Hey Guys.

Hey guys it's my mom's birthday today. As you know the last 3-4 months haven't been easy for me. It's been a struggle. I've been suffering from severe depression and even occasional suicidal ideation. Severe anxiety as well. It was pretty bad earlier this week. I got diagnosed with an eating disorder also. ADHD to top it all off. Again not trying to gain any sympathy I know I'm not the only one who deals with mental health issues. However, my mom has been my rock throughout this whole process despite facing her own challenges. My uncle passed away a couple of months ago and he was her last living sibling. They were really close and it's her first birthday without my uncle here. Anyways I'd appreciate you guys just wishing her a good birthday. Would mean a lot. She means everything to me. Often as a kid I didn't appreciate or respect her like I should've. As time has gone on I've realized how lucky I am to have my mom.

Also sorry I haven't been online much. I spend most of my time on the TSL app. Anyways I love all you guys. You are all apart of my Swiftie family. Whether it was here or on the old TC you guys have always been there for me through all my ups and downs. Lord knows there has been a lot. If I didn't have Taylor and my Swiftie family I don't know what I'd do. I thank God for blessing me with just such a special, special support system which includes all of you and Taylor of course. I'm okay right now honestly. I've gotten involved with this church. I officially moved up here to San Antonio which has always been a second home. I'm going to therapy and on medication for each of the mental disorders I was diagnosed with. Hasn't been easy, but I've managed the best I can. It's a fight everyday, but I'm hanging in there the only way I know how. It's not just me there. It's all my friends, my family, which again includes you all, my church, Taylor, of course God. Really worked on progressing my relationship with him. Been studying the Bible the last 2-3 months and it's been great. Not here to push my religion on anyone. That's not right and it's not my place. Regardless of what your religion is it doesn't make me appreciate and love you guys any less.

I will try to be on here more because I miss this place. There are so many amazing people on here. Taylor would be proud to have such amazing fans and I hope all of you get to see her on the Reputation tour and meet her. You're all beautiful, special people. Some of my best friends reside here. Emma, Callie, Reagan, Mike, Roman, just to name a few and there is many more. Whatever challenges you guys are facing, if you face the same issues as me or others, regardless of what it is you know you guys can talk to me, and I'll do my best to be there for you as you have all been there for me. It's been a crazy ride this year. Honestly didn't know if I'd make it. By the grace of God I'm still here with his guidance, with all the incredible people he's put in my life such as yourselves.

I can't forget Taylor. She is the very definition of beautiful. Sometimes when I'm so down I can barely get out of bed or so anxious I feel like my head is gonna explode just thinking of her and everything she's overcome, how much I know she love us her fans, treats us like family, despite how much people have criticized her over the years, hated on her for no reason, had her heart broken time and time again, been betrayed, been sexually assaulted, the ups and downs in her own career, and yet it never changed Taylor as a person. It helped her continue to evolve and grow into the beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, and courageous woman we know today, but she is that same kind hearted, loving, beautiful person she has always been. She always will be that also.

Taylor probably won't ever see this or even my posts on TSL, but Taylor I just want you to know I love you so much. You've meant everything to me. You are a huge reason I'm still fighting the good fight. I used to be embarrassed to show my love for you and now I don't. You've got a big Reputation and so do I. As a diehard Male Swiftie who is so deeply and madly in love for you and for good reason. You've shown me what it really means to be human, how to fight and preserve through adversity such as heartbreak and betrayal and unjustified criticism, you've worked so hard in your career to continue to make such amazing and beautiful music. Your music is so genuine. It's masterful. You're one of the greatest if not the greatest artists of this generation. Reputation is your best work yet IMO. You sent a strong and meaningful message to the entire world that you're doing better than you ever were.


Despite what people say about you and your Reputation you know what your true Reputation is. I know what it is. We all do, your Swifties. You've been an unbelievable inspiration. You've shown us that it doesn't matter what people say about us. It's about who we are as people and how we live our lives. We love you so much Taylor. You're beautiful every little piece love. I cannot wait to see you in late September. Tbh that is my biggest motivation for getting my license. I want to ensure I don't miss out on what I'm sure will be one of the best nights of my life. It's gonna be epic. Love you so much.