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Post by TaylorSwiftFan on Dec 1, 2017 23:19:07 GMT -5
A couple years ago I was on this build a bear website called bearville it was so fun. They closed it. I vowed never to buy a build a bear again That was probably sad for you but it made me laugh. "I vowed to never build a bear again" haha. |
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Post by TaylorSwiftFan on Dec 1, 2017 23:34:06 GMT -5
So I haven't been myself lately, well, I thought I was feeling better but something about old TC going down made me feel horrible again. A few days ago, I was feeling extremely alone and invisible and my solution was poor: blame everyone and shut everyone out even though people were trying to help me. I don't know, something about tonight made me feel like that again. I guess watching everyone share their memories and be so upset over this website closing it just made me feel disconnected and left-out but that's my fault not y'alls since I joined late. I didn't have time to get to know everyone and create all these memories. I think tonight I thought I still wouldn't get that chance even with this new forum since old friends were coming back and people were reconnecting. I guess I've been feeling tossed to the side lately and only wanted when someone wanted/needed something from me or literally had no one else to talk to. It doesn't feel good to be a last option... That and I just feel forgotten about sometimes like I'm not as cool and interesting as everyone else. Because I know I'm not, with me, all it really is is an extreme love for Taylor Swift and 5 Seconds of Summer. I don't think there's a single interesting thing about me because I don't do anything. I literally sit at home everyday since I've graduated (back in 2015) scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, here, maybe watch T.V. and that's it. I might would be in college if I didn't talk myself out of every career I thought of or had supporting parents. Speaking of parents, it's a nasty feeling when you realize you sort of relate to Broken Home by 5 Seconds of Summer minus the screaming and yelling parents. Mine don't verbally fight but I'm not stupid, I can tell they aren't in love and sometimes I wonder if they ever were. My mom even told one of my sisters that she would file for a divorce if he got angry at her for no reason again because my dad has a bad temper and it doesn't take much to set him off but he has never hit us or my mom, just yelling and cursing. I don't know what would happen if they divorced. I guess I understand why my oldest sister wanted to move out as soon as possible and why my other sister is almost always at her boyfriend's house. If I had my license, I could try and get a job and maybe move out one day but any motivation to drive, get a job, decide what to go to college for, basically all the adult things, is completely gone. I feel like such a loser at times. Especially scrolling through social media and seeing which one of my high school friends is engaged/pregnant today or finishing up a quarter at college. Not saying I want to be engaged or pregnant at 20 but that's also another thing that makes me feel like a loser, being 20 years old and never having a boyfriend. Like, is there something wrong with me? Am I just that unappealing to guys? I know it doesn't help that I don't go out, ever, but even if I did, it's not like I would walk up to a guy and strike up a conversation. Too shy and awkward for that. I try and tell myself that being in a relationship is not all that and I try to remind myself about Taylor saying you can be happy and not be in a relationship but I feel like everyone around me has been in one and most of them look incredibly happy and I want to experience that and I'm absolutely terrified that I never will. Not too long ago, my oldest sister found an old picture of her ex boyfriend meeting our grandma for the first time and I just started crying right then. She had passed away last year and this happened earlier this year and I realized I would never get the chance to introduce my first boyfriend to my grandma like my sisters. I would never get to see her face light up when meeting him or hear her tease me about him proposing to me one day. But I always think about stuff like that. Like how I'll never go to her house on a Sunday again, or spend Easter, 4th of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. with her, or help her decorate her tiny Christmas tree and see it in her window when we pulled up, or hug her and get a kiss (and a lipstick stain) on my cheek, or hear her say 'I love you darlin' ', or see her sitting in her pew at her church, and I would never ever hear her say she was proud of me again. I could care less about a boyfriend, license, job, even meeting Taylor if it meant I could get my grandma back or at least one more day with her because I hate myself so much for not holding her hand the last time I saw her or giving her one last hug. No, instead, I wanted out of that room as soon as possible and I left her there in that disgusting excuse they called a nursing home. Sometimes I wonder if she would still be alive if they had done their job correctly. But that's all, that's what really affects me the most is not having my grandma anymore. Nothing has felt the same since she passed away. VERY VERY SORRY FOR THIS LONG VENT THING BUT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN WEIGHING ON ME FOR QUITE A WHILE AND WILL PROBABLY CONTINUE TO DO SO... Also, if you want to respond to this a pm would probably be better so this doesn't clunk up the thread...
I hope that you feel better about this. I know how you feel about relationships and missing someone. I'm 19 and have never been in a relationship and will probably die alone. I'm scared of being alone but I'm shy and awkward and am not good at talking to other people or verbally sharing my feelings. I miss my pets/animals that have passed away a lot and my grandmas who have passed away. I regret not going to visit my mom's mom more when she would go to see her at the nursing home as I wanted to stay home. I was a stupid kid. I never knew my grandpa on my mom's side and my dad's dad is still alive but he's dead to us anyways lol. I'm not religious at all but I believe that there's a heaven and that's one of the only things that helps me feel better when I feel sad about losing a pet/animal or family member. |
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Post by JDMaleSwiftie on Dec 1, 2017 23:42:07 GMT -5
So I haven't been myself lately, well, I thought I was feeling better but something about old TC going down made me feel horrible again. A few days ago, I was feeling extremely alone and invisible and my solution was poor: blame everyone and shut everyone out even though people were trying to help me. I don't know, something about tonight made me feel like that again. I guess watching everyone share their memories and be so upset over this website closing it just made me feel disconnected and left-out but that's my fault not y'alls since I joined late. I didn't have time to get to know everyone and create all these memories. I think tonight I thought I still wouldn't get that chance even with this new forum since old friends were coming back and people were reconnecting. I guess I've been feeling tossed to the side lately and only wanted when someone wanted/needed something from me or literally had no one else to talk to. It doesn't feel good to be a last option... That and I just feel forgotten about sometimes like I'm not as cool and interesting as everyone else. Because I know I'm not, with me, all it really is is an extreme love for Taylor Swift and 5 Seconds of Summer. I don't think there's a single interesting thing about me because I don't do anything. I literally sit at home everyday since I've graduated (back in 2015) scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, here, maybe watch T.V. and that's it. I might would be in college if I didn't talk myself out of every career I thought of or had supporting parents. Speaking of parents, it's a nasty feeling when you realize you sort of relate to Broken Home by 5 Seconds of Summer minus the screaming and yelling parents. Mine don't verbally fight but I'm not stupid, I can tell they aren't in love and sometimes I wonder if they ever were. My mom even told one of my sisters that she would file for a divorce if he got angry at her for no reason again because my dad has a bad temper and it doesn't take much to set him off but he has never hit us or my mom, just yelling and cursing. I don't know what would happen if they divorced. I guess I understand why my oldest sister wanted to move out as soon as possible and why my other sister is almost always at her boyfriend's house. If I had my license, I could try and get a job and maybe move out one day but any motivation to drive, get a job, decide what to go to college for, basically all the adult things, is completely gone. I feel like such a loser at times. Especially scrolling through social media and seeing which one of my high school friends is engaged/pregnant today or finishing up a quarter at college. Not saying I want to be engaged or pregnant at 20 but that's also another thing that makes me feel like a loser, being 20 years old and never having a boyfriend. Like, is there something wrong with me? Am I just that unappealing to guys? I know it doesn't help that I don't go out, ever, but even if I did, it's not like I would walk up to a guy and strike up a conversation. Too shy and awkward for that. I try and tell myself that being in a relationship is not all that and I try to remind myself about Taylor saying you can be happy and not be in a relationship but I feel like everyone around me has been in one and most of them look incredibly happy and I want to experience that and I'm absolutely terrified that I never will. Not too long ago, my oldest sister found an old picture of her ex boyfriend meeting our grandma for the first time and I just started crying right then. She had passed away last year and this happened earlier this year and I realized I would never get the chance to introduce my first boyfriend to my grandma like my sisters. I would never get to see her face light up when meeting him or hear her tease me about him proposing to me one day. But I always think about stuff like that. Like how I'll never go to her house on a Sunday again, or spend Easter, 4th of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. with her, or help her decorate her tiny Christmas tree and see it in her window when we pulled up, or hug her and get a kiss (and a lipstick stain) on my cheek, or hear her say 'I love you darlin' ', or see her sitting in her pew at her church, and I would never ever hear her say she was proud of me again. I could care less about a boyfriend, license, job, even meeting Taylor if it meant I could get my grandma back or at least one more day with her because I hate myself so much for not holding her hand the last time I saw her or giving her one last hug. No, instead, I wanted out of that room as soon as possible and I left her there in that disgusting excuse they called a nursing home. Sometimes I wonder if she would still be alive if they had done their job correctly. But that's all, that's what really affects me the most is not having my grandma anymore. Nothing has felt the same since she passed away. VERY VERY SORRY FOR THIS LONG VENT THING BUT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN WEIGHING ON ME FOR QUITE A WHILE AND WILL PROBABLY CONTINUE TO DO SO... Also, if you want to respond to this a pm would probably be better so this doesn't clunk up the thread...
I hope that you feel better about this. I know how you feel about relationships and missing someone. I'm 19 and have never been in a relationship and will probably die alone. I'm scared of being alone but I'm shy and awkward and am not good at talking to other people or verbally sharing my feelings. I miss my pets/animals that have passed away a lot and my grandmas who have passed away. I regret not going to visit my mom's mom more when she would go to see her at the nursing home as I wanted to stay home. I was a stupid kid. I never knew my grandpa on my mom's side and my dad's dad is still alive but he's dead to us anyways lol. I'm not religious at all but I believe that there's a heaven and that's one of the only things that helps me feel better when I feel sad about losing a pet/animal or family member. I understand the frustration with not being in a relationship right now, but seriously you guys are 19 and 20 years old. You’ve got your entire lives ahead of you. You have plenty of time to find someone or them to find you. The best thing you can do is make that secondary and focus on other things and the rest will take care of itself. I don’t think you can give up hope at 19 years old that you won’t ever fall in love and meet someone. I’m 23 years old and I haven’t given up hope. I know that process will take place and I’ll find that girl for me. I don’t know when or who it’ll be, but I know I’m still young and too young still to lose hope. It happens for everyone at different points in their lives. Some people don’t find that special someone for years. Others are fortunate to find it sooner. You just have to realize that while life is full of ups and downs everyone deserves happiness and everyone’s time will come. You try not to focus or think about it too much. Don’t let it consume you because that’s not healthy. There are other things to focus your attention on. That would be my advice to you both. You’re still very young and there is no reason to think you’ll be alone forever. I understand being arkward socially and struggling to fit in and meet people. Get all that. I used to be the same way. The inability to really meet and make friends. The inability especially to talk to girls was very frustrating, but as time has gone I’ve figured out how to do it better and now I’m somewhat competent at it. You just try and be yourself. You try and have normal conversations. Find something you have in common with said person. Talk about what you like to do. Music interests and movies or TV shows. If you’re in school which I’m not currently that is something you can talk about as well or if you have a job. It’s not easy, but isn’t impossible either. Honestly I used to consume my self so much with finding or meeting a girl. It really made me depressed because I tried too hard and that’s just not the way to go about it. You can literally meet someone anywhere. A restaurant, the movie theatre, at a store, concert, school, job, etc. I mean this is a massive world obviously and I just came to realize I can’t force myself to meet someone or will it. You just have to take a step back, live your life, and eventually it’ll happen anyway. There is way too many people in this world and we’re all way too young to not eventually meet someone. You just can’t lose faith or hope. I mean it’s not easy, but if you tell yourself you won’t ever meet someone you probably won’t because a lot of life is just having the right approach and mentality. You have to believe in yourself and have confidence. You look at someone like Taylor and even though she’s obviously not married at age 27 and had her fair share of failed relationships she still obviously is living a very productive life. Yeah she’s gotten her heart broken, but she’s found a way to not let it break her, to let it strengthen her, she’s worked so hard over the years to not have success, but continue to improve and progress in her career and she has realized that eventually she will be happy and in love with a great guy that she deserves very much. At the same time that doesn’t happen over night, but over a long process. I mean that’s really what life is at the end of the day. It’s a long, drown out process. There are a multitude of steps you have to take, you have to be determined, but also have to approach them the right way and not allow yourself to get deterred or get too down on yourself when you have struggles because they happen to everyone. Don’t allow yourself to get defeated. Learn from your experiences. Stay strong. All that you want is out there for you and it’ll happen for yourself eventually as it will for me if we just stay the course. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2017 23:45:47 GMT -5
I feel like I'm annoying people on this new forum here already. Why do you say that?? I know we don't talk like all the time, but I don't think you are annoying anyone on the fourm. |
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Post by TaylorSwiftFan on Dec 1, 2017 23:53:40 GMT -5
I hope that you feel better about this. I know how you feel about relationships and missing someone. I'm 19 and have never been in a relationship and will probably die alone. I'm scared of being alone but I'm shy and awkward and am not good at talking to other people or verbally sharing my feelings. I miss my pets/animals that have passed away a lot and my grandmas who have passed away. I regret not going to visit my mom's mom more when she would go to see her at the nursing home as I wanted to stay home. I was a stupid kid. I never knew my grandpa on my mom's side and my dad's dad is still alive but he's dead to us anyways lol. I'm not religious at all but I believe that there's a heaven and that's one of the only things that helps me feel better when I feel sad about losing a pet/animal or family member. I understand the frustration with not being in a relationship right now, but seriously you guys are 19 and 20 years old. You’ve got your entire lives ahead of you. You have plenty of time to find someone or them to find you. The best thing you can do is make that secondary and focus on other things and the rest will take care of itself. I don’t think you can give up hope at 19 years old that you won’t ever fall in love and meet someone. I’m 23 years old and I haven’t given up hope. I know that process will take place and I’ll find that girl for me. I don’t know when or who it’ll be, but I know I’m still young and too young still to lose hope. It happens for everyone at different points in their lives. Some people don’t find that special someone for years. Others are fortunate to find it sooner. You just have to realize that while life is full of ups and downs everyone deserves happiness and everyone’s time will come. You try not to focus or think about it too much. Don’t let it consume you because that’s not healthy. There are other things to focus your attention on. That would be my advice to you both. You’re still very young and there is no reason to think you’ll be alone forever. I understand being arkward socially and struggling to fit in and meet people. Get all that. I used to be the same way. The inability to really meet and make friends. The inability especially to talk to girls was very frustrating, but as time has gone I’ve figured out how to do it better and now I’m somewhat competent at it. You just try and be yourself. You try and have normal conversations. Find something you have in common with said person. Talk about what you like to do. Music interests and movies or TV shows. If you’re in school which I’m not currently that is something you can talk about as well or if you have a job. It’s not easy, but isn’t impossible either. I'm not worried about not having a boyfriend at all and it isn't on my mind at all most days. I just worry about being different from other people. I also worry about being alone too. |
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Post by TaylorSwiftFan on Dec 1, 2017 23:54:02 GMT -5
I feel like I'm annoying people on this new forum here already. Why do you say that?? I know we don't talk like all the time, but I don't think you are annoying anyone on the fourm. I can feel it. I feel like people find me annoying. Oh well. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2017 23:56:38 GMT -5
Why do you say that?? I know we don't talk like all the time, but I don't think you are annoying anyone on the fourm. I can feel it. I feel like people find me annoying. Oh well. We don't usually talk, but I've always thought you were an interesting personality on TC not annoying. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2017 23:58:41 GMT -5
Why do you say that?? I know we don't talk like all the time, but I don't think you are annoying anyone on the fourm. I can feel it. I feel like people find me annoying. Oh well. Well for starters, that's not how I feel about. I feel like, I'm following one of my favorite graphic makers in trying to become better.  If people think you're annoying... I say forget about them, cause you are more then welcome being here. After all, you love Taylor as much as all of us. That's what makes you a swifite doesn't it?? By being her fan. Plus if they truly feel that way, then they have get through me. After all, you are my friend. And friends stick together. |
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Post by JDMaleSwiftie on Dec 2, 2017 0:00:02 GMT -5
I understand the frustration with not being in a relationship right now, but seriously you guys are 19 and 20 years old. You’ve got your entire lives ahead of you. You have plenty of time to find someone or them to find you. The best thing you can do is make that secondary and focus on other things and the rest will take care of itself. I don’t think you can give up hope at 19 years old that you won’t ever fall in love and meet someone. I’m 23 years old and I haven’t given up hope. I know that process will take place and I’ll find that girl for me. I don’t know when or who it’ll be, but I know I’m still young and too young still to lose hope. It happens for everyone at different points in their lives. Some people don’t find that special someone for years. Others are fortunate to find it sooner. You just have to realize that while life is full of ups and downs everyone deserves happiness and everyone’s time will come. You try not to focus or think about it too much. Don’t let it consume you because that’s not healthy. There are other things to focus your attention on. That would be my advice to you both. You’re still very young and there is no reason to think you’ll be alone forever. I understand being arkward socially and struggling to fit in and meet people. Get all that. I used to be the same way. The inability to really meet and make friends. The inability especially to talk to girls was very frustrating, but as time has gone I’ve figured out how to do it better and now I’m somewhat competent at it. You just try and be yourself. You try and have normal conversations. Find something you have in common with said person. Talk about what you like to do. Music interests and movies or TV shows. If you’re in school which I’m not currently that is something you can talk about as well or if you have a job. It’s not easy, but isn’t impossible either. I'm not worried about not having a boyfriend at all and it isn't on my mind at all most days. I just worry about being different from other people. I also worry about being alone too. I’m just talking in general not getting too down on yourself. You’re not destined to be alone. So what if you’re different? You just have to be who you’re and truly good people will accept you for what you’re. You try and be a good person, work hard, and live with the rest. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2017 0:05:28 GMT -5
4 against 1 now
Seriously Callie.
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Post by Avexo ◢◤ | Brayden on Dec 2, 2017 0:06:19 GMT -5
o.O
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Post by JDMaleSwiftie on Dec 2, 2017 0:06:19 GMT -5
Its 3 against 1 Callie. You aren't annoying. No she isn’t and anyone who thinks she is can take it up with me. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2017 0:08:33 GMT -5
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Post by Avexo ◢◤ | Brayden on Dec 2, 2017 0:10:44 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2017 0:11:21 GMT -5
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If people think you're annoying... I say forget about them, cause you are more then welcome being here. After all, you love Taylor as much as all of us. That's what makes you a swifite doesn't it?? By being her fan. Plus if they truly feel that way, then they have get through me. After all, you are my friend. And friends stick together. 
